Bringing back Communism

The Republican party isn't much for fun unless one thinks old white men and sweater vests constitute a good time. When the stodgy and the clueless get together one of their favorite pastimes is peddling to Americans outdated ideology dominated by the looming specter of "communism" which is currently embodied by President Obama and occasionally by his shape-shifting foil Mitt Romney.

Communism is scary! I don't really know why, but it is. I, for one, live in constant fear of Cuba, and I take a few minutes everyday to remind myself how incompatible "communism" is with our rigidly defined and unwavering set of American values.

Sometimes, just for fun, I like to take the time to reflect on how bizarre it is that the Republican party spends so much time ranting and raving about it while simultaneously trying to enact policies that almost seem designed to create an American proletariat.

Most recently there has been outrage over the provision in the new Obamacare law which stipulates that non-profits affiliated with religious institutions (Catholic hospitals) must over insurance plans that cover contraceptives. This is very offensive to the Catholic establishment, and I accept that their strong feelings are legitimately based in their religious beliefs and sense of morality. Nevertheless, that does not make them right.

But this post is not about the specifics of Catholics and their views on contraception. Rather it is about how both the real and faux conservative outrage over contraception are just one more example of the Republicans' grand scheme to bring communism back. Now that we got bin Laden, Republicans are looking for something to scare us with. It's time for Red Scare the remix.

The first step in bringing back communism is to create a permanent underclass within American society. This is achieved through multiple Republican policy proposals such as outlawing abortion leading to a surging birthrate among those with the fewest resources. Step two involves cutting all funding for education, family planning, and early childhood development as well as cutting the social safety net - Mitt Romney cares not for our poor. With soaring birthrates, no resources or opportunity for education or healthcare, and a gutted safety net America's lower class will grow larger and larger and have fewer and fewer opportunities. Voila, an American proletariat! Communism is back.

While that was a fun little exercise for me, I obviously don't believe Republicans are trying to bring back communism. Having said that, I don't know what Republican policies are designed to do. The role of government is to provide for the people, and while the American right may not be trying to create the American proletariat, they aren't really offering any policies that would help give birth to a new American middle class either. The only Americans truly benefitting from Republican policies are those who need the least help.

As I follow the Republican primaries, I become more and more optimistic about the nation's next four years under President Obama. The more opportunities we have to see Mitt, Newt, Rick and Ron - it almost sounds like they're the guys from "Super Troopers" - up close the more we'll see that Republican policies, while perhaps not designed to hurt Americans, certainly don't seem to be helping many folks either.