Thinking more about mosques

So as a New Yorker - I just like saying that - I've been doing a lot of thinking about the "Near Ground-Zero, but not quite AT Ground-Zero" Mosque. In fact, as a New Yorker, it's hard not to think about the mosque. The mosque is everywhere, if that even makes sense. Either way, I've been thinking about the mosque, and I've drawn a few more conclusions.

First of all, some Christian, Jewish and Muslim religious leaders got together in Washington yesterday to condemn Terry Jones. Who is Terry Jones, you may ask? Just another bigot exercising his right to burn the Qu'ran, an activity that has been condemned by the President, the military, and now by the leaders of evangelical churches. But this is America, so Terry can burn away no matter how abhorrent that is.

Now while these religious leaders didn't have much to say about the "Near Ground-Zero, but not quite AT Ground-Zero" Mosque, I've already made up my mind.

This mosque is about terrorism, and there's no doubt about it. That statement is as bulletproof as tinfoil. Mark my words, if this mosque gets built, it will soon be filled with guns and bombs and Muslims! Guns and bombs and Muslims, oh my!

However, this isn't a bad thing, in fact, this is a GOOD thing. You see, even though the people building this mosque are evil and want to kill us all, I know something they don't know. I know that the zombie apocalypse is on the horizon, and I know the sooner that mosque goes up and gets stockpiled with weapons, the safer this city will be when the zombies arrive. And that's why, despite the hatred and evil and anti-American sentiment that will undoubtedly fill this mosque, I'm supporting it.

Meanwhile, the guy in charge of building the Mosque, Feisal Abdul Rauf, claims that his mission is "to strengthen relations between the Western and Muslim worlds and to help counter radical ideology." Yeah right dude. That has terrorist written all over it. Let's be real Rauf, you're hoarding weapons, and I'm using you for the zombie apocalypse. But it gets worse, "At Cordoba House, we envision shared space for community activities, like a swimming pool, classrooms and a play space for children. There will be separate prayer spaces for Muslims, Christians, Jews and men and women of other faiths. The center will also include a multifaith memorial dedicated to victims of the Sept. 11 attacks."

Hold up, this isn't just a mosque? It's a community center with prayer spaces for Muslims, Christians and Jews? Jews? Muslims hate Jews. It's a fact, all Muslims hate Jews. Plus, if this is going to be some kinda of wussy, peaceful community center does that mean they're not stashing AK-47s? And, if not, what good will that place be when the zombies arrive? Thanks a lot guys. And by the way, no one is buying the "multifaith memorial." We all know the mosque is being built to insult us.

In all seriousness, Rauf wrote an insightful and poignant defense of the mosque. We should embrace the ideas of acceptance and peace espoused not only by Feisal Abdul Rauf, but by all the religious leaders who gathered in Washington yesterday to condemn bigotry.

Let's make America better today by opening our hearts and minds to those who are different. Our great nation stands as a beacon of hope for the oppressed and a bastion of tolerance for the suffering. When we fear what is different we fear ourselves because you can't walk down the street in New York without seeing the world. And that is why we need the Cordoba Initiative Mosque. That and the zombies!